The Darkness
Serena got home and sloshed on the sofa, tired after a long day at work. She relaxed in dark for a few minutes thinking about him.
“Up for a cozy dance, baby?”
The voice startled her.
The weather changed its mood all of a sudden.
What she saw under the bright of lightning stunned her.
But when she switched on the lights, nothing was there.
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What a flirty ghost!
Hahaha… and a bit spooky one as well.
Interesting. i wonder what happened to him.
If you’re open for concrit, I’d say that since the last three sentences are all the same length, some variation would help the last line seem more startling, I think.
Thank you so much, Katie for the feedback. I’ll keep that in mind henceforth. 🙂
I agree with Hema. Your ghost is a bit flirtatious!
Haha… Thank you Danielle. It’s good to have some fun before things get a bit scary.
I really like the sense of mystery here – who is she thinking of? Who is the ghost? What, exactly, did she see? This has all the elements of a good ghost story.
Thank yo so much, Christine for liking the element of mystery in the story.
I’m curious if your ghost just knew she was lonely or if he knew her before his death. Still, a lightning exposed ghost is frightful indeed!
Well, your question has just given me a new story to write upon. However, since you have asked, they both knew each other.
Agree on the second part that seeing a ghost is a frightful sight.